The Clergy and Marriage with One Gay Partner

What part does the clergy or counselors play in the deception of a gay marrying a straight spouse with no revealing of that side of themselves? When I was married, my ex told me that during our marriage a priest told him in the confessional NOT to tell me about his homosexuality doings as it would break up the marriage. I understand what they they think they are trying to do...save a marriage and protect the children. But what they MAY not be thinking about is the possible STD's (even more important now that we have HIV and AIDS) and the overall impact that deception and cheating and trying to maintain a whole other life separate from the families has on each member of the family.
There is an undercurrent running through each family that affects each person either in same ways or in different ways. Only a healthy undercurrent can produce healthy children.
My advice to counselors and clergy would be to be truthful, even if it hurts, but the MOST important thing is to be truthful BEFORE you get into a committed relationship or marriage.
Watch this interesting video and notice how at the end he says that his wife has never been the same emotionally since their breakup....I know how she feels.