Ex-Gays?

Just got done reading an article about Michael Busse who co-founded Exodus International, a ministry designed to help homosexuals live a 'straight' life. The questions stands out there...Can a homosexual lose their desire for the same sex and live a 'legitimate' life as a straight person? He doesn't think so.

Alan Chambers , the president for Exodus International, explains that the goal is not to have the feelings go away (because they most likely won't) but to have a more realistic approach of being able to manage their homosexual feelings "in a different way--such that homosexuality no longer has power over them the way it once did. That's success in my opinion."

Chamber goes on to say that he wasn't sure he'd ever met ex-gay who ceased to struggle with same-sex attractions. He acknowledges, in the article quite truthfully, that he still has his own to deal with. "To say that 'one day I was gay, and the next day I couldn't even conjure up a thought'--I've never met anyone like that. "

Interestingly enough, Chamber story is similar to those who flock to his ministry. He was molested in his prepubescent years (a common thread in many ex-gay stories, as well as the notion of a weak or absent father figure) and went on to 'battle' homosexual feelings at age 10, convinced that gay people "could not share in God's Kingdom." He threw himself into his church, studied the Bible and went on mission trips. Down and out, he stumbled upon an Exodus ministry in Orlando. But instead of getting on the ex-gay factory conveyor belt, he 'became addicted' to anonymous sexual encounters.

Then he heard the 'voice of God' as he sat alone at a gay bar on Easter Sunday and decided to put his urges on hold and Christ first. Isn't that exactly what we do with other addictions in our life? We put our health and relationships first if we stop drinking. The urge to drink is probably there the rest of our lives, but we figure what we get out of good health and good relationships is more important to us than alcohol. Scientific studies have shown that if you have one parent that is alcoholic, you have a 10% chance of becoming one yourself and a 50% chance if both parents are alcoholic. And so some alcoholics are born with a propensity towards the addiction as many homosexuals make the claim they are born gay. This can apply to drugs, food, video games, gambling or any other addiction that takes ahold of us and interferes with our lives in some significant way.

Chambers prefers to be called a 'struggler' and states that "Every single morning--this is a ritual for me--I wake up and say, "Dear Lord, I can't make it today without you. I choose to deny what comes naturally to me." He goes on further to say that "We're all going to struggle with something until the day we die, and if we think we can get up one day and decide we don't have to pray about it anymore, we're mistaken."

I know that many people probably wake up every morning resolving to be 'good' on their diet because of their bodies or health reasons. It takes a lot of self-control for foodies NOT to eat what they know they shouldn't or eat in quantities they shouldn't.

Each addiction has a different level of hold over us and many times a different level of hold in individuals struggling with the same addiction. We have to decide what we want in life and go for it. Life is hard and EVERYONE has something they struggle with. I believe that homosexuality, especially for a male, is a very fierce addiction to struggle with and I do not take it lightly. Some people are able to control their addictions and others aren't. I heard the other day that the fattest person in the world was a female that weighed over 1,600 lbs. That is incomprehensible to many how that could have happened.

Addictions can be very powerful and we need to pray for each other and have empathy for all of our daily struggles, some more difficult than others. I would love to hear thoughts from those out there who are either struggling with being 'straight' or those who tried it and found it was not for them.

Dina McGreevey--Silent Partner

I just got done reading the book, Silent Partner, and can't believe that another human being would treat someone he supposedly loved like he did his 'wife' and daughter. Talk about being egotistical and into oneself...Yes, I would agree with some other public opinion that he married her for purely political, self-motivated reasons. I believe she was very kind in her portrayal of him even until the end. He was and is clearly all about himself and so wrapped up and absorbed by his own problems that he can't even begin to see the hurt and damage that he has caused to her and their daughter, not to mention friends and family. If you look up the word 'Narcissistic' in the dictionary....Jim's picture would be there.
Now isn't it nice that he is all cozy and set up with his new millionaire lover. And isn't he 'manly' to be putting Dina through hell with this divorce. From all of this you can see that there is no contrition or responsibility taken. Some people do such horrible things in life that they can't even face what they did and blame the other person instead.
I know what your life was like Dina, because my marriage was similar, only longer and more children. Good luck to you and your daughter. May God shower blessings on you!